So my blog's almost 2, I'm amazed it lasted THIS long, and after reading a couple of my earliest posts, I saw a big difference between them and the recent postings. It's weird. Back then I didn't bother about studies. I didn't have to. It was smooth sailing, and I wasn't as cynical. But that's not to say that I WASN'T.
Speaking of cynicism, I saw Jing Ying today at Ngee Ann poly when I went there for the Poly Experience thing, and she remarked that I was "one of the most cynical people" she ever saw. I suppose that's true, as few people are as sarky and negative. Then we got into generalistions, with me bashing Optimists for their delusional qualities(Come on! Face it! They keep pretending things are better than they are! It's self-delusion!), and her bashing cynics for being pessimists. That really got me thinking, cause I don't really see my cynicism contributing to me pessimistic nature. In fact, I'm not even sure if I'm pessimistic. Before you retort that I'm contradicting myself, having admitted my negative side, bear in mind that EVERYONE, even those drunken farts you call optimists, have negative thinking as well. And I like to think some people are more negative because they woke up and realised their optimistic ideas only serve to let them down. Again.
I'm cynical sure, but it's merely a protective barrier. I have been let down by human beings too many times, and there's only so many chances you can give to one person. So unles someone can make me believe humans are incapable of intentionally hurting each other, I'm keeping my cynicism. it's like a 6th sense really. 90% of my cynical comments come true. Plus it adds to my sarcasm, which sometimes make my friends crack up. It's how you use it.
As for my negative thinking, I would like to stress once again that I am perfectly open to hopeful ideas, but once again, my hopes are often brought crashing down by people. I have a tendency to jinx myself. If I go "Oh, I should take this emcee gig. It will help me prove my worth." Then it is likely something will go wrong when the event happens. My name will be spelt wrong, I'll be left out in the Thanks, I'll muck it up...So I tend to set low expectations so that way I'm never disappointed, and sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised. Thus making me a HAPPIER person.

Da_movie_kid was shot at 7:55 PM